


Coping Mechanisms

by orphan_account



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Angst, F/M, Internalised Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-16 06:48:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11823414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Lister is too friendly, Rimmer can't deal with it.





	Coping Mechanisms

"Rimmer!"

Rimmer was making his way back to the bunkroom from the library after another failed evening of studying when he heard his name being shouted down the corridor by a distinctive voice and turned around in irritation. _Now what?_

Lister grinned and waved. Ran to him, reached out to him, collapsed against his chest. "Hey, Rimsy! Give us a hug, man." He wrapped his arms around Rimmer and smiled.

"Are you drunk?" Rimmer demanded.

"Yeah," Lister shrugged. "A bit."

He closed his eyes and settled against Rimmer with a contented smile. He felt warm and solid against Rimmer's body, Rimmer felt something stirring. _Oh God, Oh God, Oh God! No!_

“Get off!” he yelled and pushed Lister away hard.

Lister stumbled backwards and looked surprised. "What's up, man? I'm only hugging you."

"Well, don't," Rimmer snapped. "It's inappropriate."

Lister shrugged. "If you say so, man."

"Don't touch me," Rimmer scowled. "Don't touch me like that, I'm not..," he looked deeply uncomfortable. "I'm not gay," he blurted out.

Lister stared at him in astonishment. "I never said you were, man!"

"Well then, don't touch me like that."

"For God's sake, do you think I was trying to get you into bed or something? Talk about paranoid! I was just hugging ya, men can hug each other without it being gay, I hug Petersen all the time."

"Well, that's different, he's your friend," Rimmer sniffed.

"So could you be," Lister insisted. "I'm trying to make an effort here, man. We've gotta share a bunk room after all."

"I don't want to be your friend, Lister," said Rimmer stiffly. "We work together and share a room, that's all. Stay away from me unless it's absolutely necessary." He turned and stalked away down the corridor.

"Fine!" Lister yelled after him. "Be that way, Smeghead!"

What the hell was Rimmer's problem? And where had that gay thing come from? Maybe that was the sort of thing Io did to people, taught boys you couldn't hug your friends because it was sissy. Lister didn't know, he'd never been. Heard stories but never set foot in the place. _Thankfully_ ,he thought. He yawned and rubbed his face, suddenly feeling tired. Oh, what did it matter? Forget the stupid smeghead, forget everything, he needed to get to the bunkroom and crash.

Rimmer rounded a corner, out of sight of Lister, and collapsed against a wall, breathing hard. The memory of Lister's body pressed firm and warm against his was still fresh in his mind and he tried to shake it off, crush it down. He'd thought he would be safe with Lister, he'd even got to the point where he was comfortable walking around in his underwear in front of him, the man was such an irritating, slobby git that Rimmer couldn't possibly.., _No, no, no! Stop thinking!_

He needed a drink.

A woman was half-slumped at the bar, carefully sipping a glass of mineral water, with some kind of medical bandage covering half of her head.  
Rimmer took the seat next to her and ordered a stiff drink.

The woman looked at him through slightly bleary eyes. "Hey, it's Norman, right? I'm Yvonne."

Oh yes, McGruder, he'd seen her around a few times but barely spoken to her, she was attractive enough, he supposed. He'd heard something about an accident with a falling winch.

"You here on your own?" she asked.

"Yes, I am," replied Rimmer, truthfully. He tapped his fingers against the side of his glass in a nervous rhythm and then swallowed it in one gulp and ordered a second, wondering how many drinks he would need to drown out thoughts of Lister.

"Me too," said McGruder and smiled at him.

Rimmer smiled back. Maybe - he wouldn't need to drink after all. _Maybe_ \- she'd do instead. Who she was didn't matter, who she thought _he_ was didn't matter, she was female and that was the only important thing right now. If she wanted him to be Norman, he'd be Norman.

He cleared his throat. "Know what, I'm hungry. Would you like to go and get a pizza?"


End file.
